Santa Singh sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft. A few days later he got this reply:- Dear Mr. Singh, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks
Santa singh jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki mujhay america mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted. Santa singh continued Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter english main hai isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee kartaa jaongaa.
Dear Mr. Singh-----pyare singh sahab
You do not meet----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement----humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance----ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.
No phone call ----phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained----bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks----aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya
Friday, March 19, 2010
Why Car Ads With Male Models Are NOT ok!
Humorous look at what happens when you replace female models with male models in the same poses for car ads!
hypnotism?
Santa: What's hypnotism?
PREETO: Kisi ko apne vash mein kar ke us se manchaha kaam karwana.
Santa: Arey nahi, usko toh shaadi kehte hain.
PREETO: Kisi ko apne vash mein kar ke us se manchaha kaam karwana.
Santa: Arey nahi, usko toh shaadi kehte hain.
funny ........
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady above,Sitting on her front step smoking a cigar,so he walked up to her and said,"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said."Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint.Apart from that,I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week,and eat only junk food.On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all.""That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said."Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint.Apart from that,I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week,and eat only junk food.On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all.""That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
"Thirty-four," she replied.
joke
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer
for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your
notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ******
appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but
we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware
vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the ’shut down ‘
button.
3. There is a button ’start’ but there is no “stop” button. We request
you to check this.
4. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friend clicked ‘run ‘
has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to “sit”, so
that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any ‘re-scooter’ available in system? As I find
only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ‘ find’,
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my ‘mouse’ from
CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
‘HEARTS’ (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect
ur money.
9. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft
sentence’, so when u will provide that?
10. Please congirm about “exit” button because here is only “Enter” no “exit”
Popularity: 4% [?]
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer
for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your
notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ******
appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but
we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware
vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the ’shut down ‘
button.
3. There is a button ’start’ but there is no “stop” button. We request
you to check this.
4. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friend clicked ‘run ‘
has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to “sit”, so
that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any ‘re-scooter’ available in system? As I find
only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ‘ find’,
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my ‘mouse’ from
CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
‘HEARTS’ (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect
ur money.
9. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft
sentence’, so when u will provide that?
10. Please congirm about “exit” button because here is only “Enter” no “exit”
Popularity: 4% [?]
joke
Billy and Joe were talking one afternoon. Billy tells Joe, "You know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation."
He continues, "Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Eva got pregnant."
"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Eva got pregnant again."
"Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Eva didn't get pregnant again."
Joe asks Billy, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy says, "This year I'm taking Eva with me."
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
मोहब्बत में वफादारी से बचिए !!!!!!!!
मोहब्बत में वफादारी से बचिए !
जहाँ तक हो अदाकारी से बचिए!!
हर एक सूरत भली लगती है कुछ दिन !
लहू कि shobda-kaari से बचिए !!
शराफत आदमियत दर्द मंदी !
बड़े शहरों में बीमारी से बचिए!!
ज़रूरी क्या हर एक महफ़िल में आना !
तकल्लुफ कि रवादारी से बचिए!!
बिना पैरों के सड़क चलते नहीं हैं !
बुजुर्गों कि समझदारी से बचिए !!
Ek gudiya ki kai………….
Ek gudiya ki kai kathaputliyon mein jaan hai
aaj shayar ye tamasha dekh kar hairaan hai
khaas sadaken band hain tab se marammat ke liye
ye humare waqt ki sabse badi pahchaan hai
ek budha aadami hai mulk mein ya youn kaho
is andheri kothari mein ek roshandaan hai
maslahat aameez hote hain siyaasat ke kadam
tu na samajhega siyaasat tu abhi insaan hai
is kadar pabandi-e-mazahab ki sadaken aapki
jab se aazadi mili mulk mein ramzaan hai
kal numaaish mein mila wo cheethardhe pahne hue
maine poocha naam to bola hindustaan hai
mujh mein rahte hain karodon log chup kaise rahoon
har ghazal ab saltanat ke naam ek bayaan hai
Har ek aawaaz urdu ko fariyadi batati hai
Har ek aawaaz urdu ko fariyadi batati hai,
ye pagli phir bhi ab tak khud ko shehzaadi batati hai
kayi baate mohabbat sabko buniyadi batati hai,
jo pardaadi batati thi wahi daadi batati hai
jahan pichhle kayi barson se kaale naag rehte hain
wahan ek ghosla chidhiyon ka tha daadi batati hai 
abhi tak ye ilaaka hai rawadaari ke kabze mein,
abhi firka parasti kam hai aabaadi batati hai
yahan veeraniyon ki ek muddat se hukumat hai,
yahan se nafrate guzri hain barbaadi batati hai
lahoo kaise bahaya jaaye ye leader batate hain,
lahoo ka zsayka kaisa hai ye khaadi batati hai
gulaami ne abhi tak mulk ka peechha nahi chhoda,
hume phir kaid hona hai ye aazaadi batati hai
Gareebi kyun humare shehar se bahar nahi jaati,
ameer-e-shehar ke ghar ki har ek shaadi batati hai
main un aankhon ke maikhane mein thodi der baitha tha,
mujhe duniya nashe ka aaj tak aadi batati hai
Rahat Indori Wafa ko aazmana chahiye tha humara dil dukhana chahiye tha….
Wafa ko aazmana chahiye tha humara dil dukhana chahiye tha
Aana na aana meri marzi hai tumko to bulana chahiye tha
Humari khwaahish ek ghar ki thi use sara zamaana chahiye tha
Meri aankhein kaha nam hui thi samundar ko bahana chahiye tha
Jaha par panhuchna main chahta hoon waha pe panhuch jana chahiye tha
Humara zakhm purana bahut hai charagar bhi purana chahiye tha
Mujhse pahle wo kisi aur ki thi magar kuch shayrana chahiye tha
Chalo mana ye choti baat hai par tumhe sab kuch batana chahiye tha
Tera bhi shaher me koi nahi tha mujhe bhi ek thikana chahiye tha
Ke kis ko kis tarah se bhoolte hain tumhe mujhko sikhana chahiye tha
Aisa lagta hai lahoo mein humko kalam ko bhi dubana chahiye tha
Ab mere saath rah ke tanz na kar tujhe jana tha jana chahiye tha
Kya bus maine hi ki hai bewafaai jo bhi sach hai batana chahiye tha
Meri barbadi pe wo chahta hai mujhe bhi muskurana chahiye tha
Bas ek tu hi mere saath mein hai tujhe bhi rooth jana chahiye tha
Humare paas jo ye fan hai miya hume is se kamana chahiye tha
Ab ye taaj kis kaam ka hai hume sar ko bachana chahiye tha
Usi ko yaad rakha umar bhar ke jisko bhool jana chahiye tha
Mujhse baat bhi karni thi usko gale se bhi lagana chahiye tha
usne pyaar se bulaya tha hume mar ke bhi aana chahiye tha
Tumhe 'satlaj' use pane ke khatir kabhi khud ko gawana chahiye tha!!
Broken Heart
Koi Jata hai yahan se na koi aata hai
Ye Diya apne andhere mein ghuta jata hai
sab samajhte hain wahi raat ki kismat hoga
Jo sitaara ke Bulandi pe nazar aata hai
main isi Khoj mein barhta hi chala jata hoon
kis Ka aanchal hai ke jo lehraata hai
Meri Aankhon mein hai ek Abr ka tukra shayad
koi mausam ho sar-e-Shaam baras jata hai
de tasalli koi to Aankh chalak uthti hai
koi Samjhaaye to Dil aur bhi Bhar aata hai
पत्ता पत्ता बूटा बूटा हाल हमारा जाने है !
पत्ता पत्ता बूटा बूटा हाल हमारा जाने है !
जाने ना जाने गुल ही ना जाने बाग़ तो सारा जाने है !!
चारागरी बीमारी ये दिल कि रस्म -ए -शहर -ए -हुस्न नहीं !.
वरना दिलबर -ए -नादान भी इस दर्द का चारा जाने है !!.
मैहर -ओ -वफ़ा -ओ -लुत्फ़ -ओ -इनायत एक से वाकिफ इन मै नहीं !.
और तो सब कुछ तंज़ -ओ -qanaya रंज -ओ -इशारा जाने है !!.
+----------+
कुछ और ही आलम , नज़र आता है जहां का ,
कुछ और ही नक्शा है , दिल ओ चश्म ओ जुबां का !
कैसा फलक , और मेहर -ए जहान्ताब , कहाँ का,
होगा दिल -ए बेताब , किसी सख्त जान का !!
अब्ब मेहर में और बर्क में कुछ फर्क नहीं है ,
गिरता नहीं , उस्रो से ! कहो बर्क नहीं है !!
+----------+
ज़हर -ए ग़म कर चूका था मेरा काम ,
तुझ को किस ने कहा के हो बदनाम !!
मैं ही फिर क्यों ना मैय पिए जाऊं !
ग़म से जब हो गयी हो जीस्त हराम
+----------+
कोई उम्मीद बार नहीं आती ,
कोई सूरत नज़र नहीं आती
मौत का एक दिन मुयायन है ,
नींद क्यूँ रात बार नहीं आती !
आगे आती थी हाल ए दिल पे हसी ,
अब किसी बात पर नहीं आती
है कुछ ऐसी ही बात जो चुप है ,
वरना क्या बात कर nahin आती
Daag-e-dil gar nazar nahi aata,
Bu bhi ae charagar nahin aati
Hum wahan hai jahan se humko bhi,
Kuch humari khabar nahin aati
Marte hai aarzo mein marne ki,
Maut aati hai par nahin aati
kaaba kis munh se jaoge 'Ghalib',
sharm tumko magar nahi aati...
+----------+
Aah ko chaahiye ik umr asar hone tak..
kaun jeeta hai teree zulf ke sar hone tak ..
daam har mauj meiN hai halqa-e-sad_kaam-e-nahang..
dekhain kya guzre hai qatre pe guhar hone tak..
aashiqee sabr talab aur tamanna betaab..
dil ka kya rang karoon khoon-e-jigar hone tak...
ham ne maana ke taghaful na karoge..lekin
khaak ho jaayengay ham tumko khabar hone tak..
partav-e-khur se hai shabnam ko fana'a ki taaleem..
main bhee hoon ik inaayat ki nazar hone tak..
yak_nazar besh naheen fursat-e-hastee ghaafil..
garmi-e-bazm hai ik raqs-e-sharar hone tak..
gham-e-hastee ka asad kis'se ho juz marg ilaaj..
shamma'a har rang mein jaltee hai sahar hone tak..
+----------+
It’s a very simple but most of the students even some school level teachers are also do not know!
Let’s know ,actually what it is?
(85.68% science ‘n’65.43% arts students coundn’t explain it)
Letters with dates
BC, we have seen stands for ‘Before Christ.’
You will sometimes find AD before dates. This
stands for two Latin words, ‘Anno Domini’, meaning
‘in the year of the Lord’ (i.e. Christ). So 2005 can
also be written as AD 2005.
Sometimes CE is used instead of AD and BCE
instead of BC. The letters CE stand for ‘Common
Era’ and BCE for ‘Before Common Era’. We use
these terms because the Christian Era is now used
in most countries of the world. In India we began
using this form of dating from about two hundred
years ago.
And sometimes, the letters BP meaning ‘Before
Present’ are used.
Monday, March 15, 2010
rahiye ab aisii jagah chalakar jahaa.N koii na ho...
rahiye ab aisii jagah chalakar jahaa.N koii na ho
hamasuKhan koii na ho aur hamazabaa.N koii na ho
bedar-o-diivaar saa ik ghar banaayaa chaahiye
koii hamasaayaa na ho aur paasabaa.N koii na ho
pa.Diye gar biimaar to koii na ho tiimaaradaar
aur agar mar jaaiiye to nauhaa_Khvaa.N koii na ho
hamasuKhan koii na ho aur hamazabaa.N koii na ho
bedar-o-diivaar saa ik ghar banaayaa chaahiye
koii hamasaayaa na ho aur paasabaa.N koii na ho
pa.Diye gar biimaar to koii na ho tiimaaradaar
aur agar mar jaaiiye to nauhaa_Khvaa.N koii na ho
Sunday, March 14, 2010
इस घर में सब कुछ है उल्टा !!
जरा सोचिए की कैसा हो अगर आपका घर उल्टा हो जाए। ये वो कल्पना है जिसे आप शायद कभी सच होता नही देखना चाहेंगे लेकिन जर्मनी में इस कल्पना को भी साकार कर दिया गया है।
जर्मनी के गेटोर्फ शहर में एक जू के लिए ऐसे घर का निर्माण किया गया है जिसमें सब कुछ उल्टा है। इसकी छत नीचे और फर्श उपर है। इस घर को स्टील के खंभो के सहारे खड़ा किया गया है।
वैसे ये घर रहने के लिए नही बनाया गया है क्योंकि इस उल्टे घर में रहना तो लगभग नामुमकिन है। इस उल्टे घर में सब कुछ उल्टा है। इसे देखकर आपको लगेगा जैसे किसी व्यवस्थित घर को उल्टा कर के रख दिया गया है या फिर आसमान की जगह धरती ने ले ली हो।
बाहर से देखने पर आपको सलीके से लगी हुई कुर्सीयां दिखाई देंगी लेकिन यह भी उल्टी ही हैं। और तो और अंदर इसमें किचन और बाथरूम समेत सबकुछ उल्टा है।
तस्वीरों में देखिए उल्टा घर...
अंडे बेचने के लिए दिया विज्ञापन, गिरफ्तार !
लंदन. एक निलामकर्ता को अंडे नीलाम करना महंगा पड़ गया। लंदन पुलिस ने उसे वन्य जीव सुरक्षा कानूनों के तहत गिरफ्तार कर लिया।एक पुराने गैरॉज से बरामद हुई एक दराज को नीलामकर्ता जिम रेलटन कोई सामान्य फर्नीचर समझा और नीलामी के लिए इश्तेहार दे दिया। लेकिन इस दराज में कोई सौ वर्ष पुराने चिड़ियों के अंडे रखे थे।
उसका विज्ञापन छपने के तुरंत बाद पुलिस उसे गिरफ्तार करके ले गई जहां उसके फिंगर प्रिंट और सेलिवा के संपल लिए गए।
जिम का कहना है कि यह सब कुछ नही है सिर्फ पुलिस के कीमती समय की बर्बादी है। यदि जिम पर अपराध साबित हो जाता है तो उन्हें 5000 पाउंड तक का जुर्माना और 6 महने तक की कैद हो सकती है।
अस्मत
अस्मत
सर से चादर, बदन से क़बा ले गई
जिंदगी हम फ़क़ीरों से क्या ले गई
मेरी मुट्ठी में सूखे हुए फूल हैं,
ख़ुशबुओं को उड़ाकर हवा ले गई
मैं समंदर के सीने में चट्ठान था
रात इक मौज आई बहा ले गई
चांद ने रात मुझको जगाकर कहा
एक लड़की तुम्हारा पता ले गई
मेरी शोहरत सियासत से महफ़ूज है
ये तवायफ़ भी अस्मत बचा ले गई
Aman Deg
मायने
कबा= अंगरखा, गाउन/मौज= तरंग, लहर / सियासत= छल, फ़रेब/ महफ़ूज=सुरक्षित
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Palbhar mein tut jaye who ka.....................
Palbhar mein tut jaye who kassam nahi,
Dosti mein bhool jaye woh hum nahi,
Tum bewafa bano is baat mein dum nahi,
Kyuki hamari wafa bhi kuch kum nahi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dosti mein bhool jaye woh hum nahi,
Tum bewafa bano is baat mein dum nahi,
Kyuki hamari wafa bhi kuch kum nahi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Main deewaani hun tere nam ki
is baat se inkar nahi,
kaise kahe ki hame aapse pyar nahi,
kuch to kasoor hai aapki nazro ka,
hum akele to gunhegar nahi.
Kathys Comments
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aankhon ki zubhan wo samajh nahi pate,
Hoth magar kuch keh nahi pate,
Apni bebasi kis tarah kahe,
Koi hai jiske bina hum reh nahi pate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tapat Sooraj mein hoti hain
Tadapna sabko padta hain
kasoor aankhon ka hota hai
Tadapna dil ko padta hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tum mujhe bhul na paoge,
Is kadar hum tumhe yaad aayenge...
Yakeen na aaye to aaine me dekhna,
Teri aankhon me hum nazar aayenge....
Zikar hua jab Khuda ki rehmaton ka,
Hamne khud ko khushnaseeb paya....
Tamanna thi ek pyare se dost ki,
Khuda khud dost bankar chala aaya....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mehfil na hoti, nazare na hote,
yun chand ke pehlu mein sitare na hote.
Hum isliye karte hai apki parvah
kyonki dil ke karib sare nahi hote..!
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